I need to get one

So I wake up this morning started making coffee and trying damn hard to stand up straight. I wheeled 12 yards of topsoil the night before from the front to the back yard. Well I turn on Versus (old OLN) and the damn Auto bike infomercial is on. I watched it for 5 minutes until the race up the hill with the auto bike and beach cruiser and a Schwinn varsity 10 speed ends. Changed channels, wait coffee is done, ibuprofen is working so I start loading the bike on the car. What am I seeing. A couple is riding past the house on auto bikes. So I have at least 2 clueless neighbors. Short trip to kettles for a quick 20. Holy crap the parking lot is packed and its only 9:00 am. What is going on. My eye must be playing tricks there are 3 guys from Illinois (plates) with frigging auto bikes. Finish up and roll through the even more pack lot and there is another one. I am starting to think I should sell the fuel and get like 10 auto bikes.